Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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