Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
