How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
