I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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