watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
