I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
