I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
