went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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