We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
