Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The uberlube is also flammable
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
