I puked a lego.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
