i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
