My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
