that's an acceptable place to lick
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
