We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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