is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
