maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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