He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
