Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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