once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
