this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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