Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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