Apparently you make a good broom.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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