He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
