Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
