Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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