it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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