Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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