She is in my trunk
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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