who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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