i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
