I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
