who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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