First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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