i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
