i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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