He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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