your room smells of hookers.
And success
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
