i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
