Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
