Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
