cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
