Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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