Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
