I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
