when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
