When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
