I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
