Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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