And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
