I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
