ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
