i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
