so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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